On Heaviness

a cloud is an iron weighta feather is a ton of brickswhen you're anchored downto an immovable heaviness. Crushing weight on the lungs makes every breath a bit harder, a bit sharper. Breathe, breathe, (I'm told), but this is no easy task - a stone tied to a leg pulls the body deeper, deeper under. [...]

On Helplessness

On Helplessness

As I've said before, I think that I've been put on this earth to feel and feel strongly, to carry burdens and help out with heavy loads because the universe knows I can hold them. It's taken a while to prove to myself that I am strong enough to hold them, but alas, that is only [...]

On Change

On Change

I didn't come this farto only come this far. I've been struggling for a long time to form some kind of coherent reflection on everything that 2016 has been. The trouble is that this January will represent for me not only the end of one year, but the end of almost a decade long fight, [...]

On the Harvest Moon

On the Harvest Moon

But there's a full moon risin' Let's go dancin' in the light We know where the music's playin' Let's go out and feel the night." -Neil Young, "Harvest Moon" Fall has always been my favorite season – before PSLs, before Uggs (*cringe*), before leggings as pants and before I bought my yellow peacoat. I love the crisp [...]

twenty-two

twenty-two

"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." -from "Desiderata" by Max Ehrmann And here we are again, another year later, me reflecting [...]

On The Things We Carry

On The Things We Carry

illustration by Tanya Shatsheva she said "my life hurts." i held her hands, and replied "sometimes, this is what it means to be alive." -nayyirah waheed I’ve been thinking a lot recently about all of the things I am able to carry with me, every single day. The many Me’s that have taken up residence inside my [...]

On Atoms

On Atoms

"The finest souls are those who gulped pain and avoided making others taste it." -nizariat I come from a family of healers. My father heals bodies and my mother heals minds, and the two of them together have consistently fought to soothe all of the aches and pains of their children and those they hold dear. [...]

On Mountains

On Mountains

these mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb. -Najwa Zebian We are told there are five stages of grief, but I wonder if the fifth stage is less an endpoint and more a warning sign. Moving from denial-->anger-->bargaining-->depression is horribly, deeply painful, but it is to be expected. Or perhaps it is that [...]

This I Believe

This I Believe

credit Aneta Ivanova I have always been bad with declaring my beliefs. Like—really bad. To the point where I have notoriously had issues with deciphering my own tastes and preferences. Exhibit A: The fast-casual sandwich shop. Every time I used to go to Subway, and the sandwich maker would ask me what kind of cheese [...]

On Finishing Chapters

On Finishing Chapters

"We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us." -Charles Bukowski As I begin the process of turning the page and ending a very important, fundamental chapter in my life, I can't help but feel a little shaken that I am off schedule. [...]